Only Questions

I don’t know if it’s my vocation as a pastor or because I’m older or if things have changed, but the brokenness of the world and the grief attendant in it more often than not leaves me speechless. I am thankful for words which can begin to unlock the pent-up sadness. The poem is inspired by the verses of Job 38:1-7 (ESV) which are below.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
   	“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
Dress for action like a man;
	I will question you, and you make it known to me.
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
	Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
	Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
	or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
	and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Here’s what the words of Job unlocked in me as a response to the Lord’s questions.

I have no answers, Lord,
Only questions.
Like, why come with a storm
Into the chaos of my storm?
How is one to know which is the help,
Which whirlwind is caused by sin,
Which rescue or finish me?
And why have you stood off 
Silently?
I have no answers,
Only questions.

No, I was not there
When you laid the foundation.
It was not by my skill or strength
That it was made square and plumb.
I did not stretch out a line, its length
To measure Your wisdom and love.
I did not pour into the earth with my hands
The footing upon which
Every last thing that stands
Now stands.
I did not mark the depth, breadth, and height
Of Your cornerstone’s wisdom.
I did not lay it in place
By it make all true and right.
Nor did I choose the keystone
Which holds the arch, fills the breach,
Holds in place the pillars of sky,
Holds all these things leaning together,
Even the answers just out of reach
As I lean towards You,
One Whom I thought I knew,
One Who is now unknown,
But where else can I go
With my questions?

What was it like
When the morning stars sang
In the first day’s, pre-dawn light?
What was the sound
Of the song which You taught?
Who led the heavenly band?
Who called the contradance
Who led the Grand 
March, the reel and swing
of the Allemande
Right and left?
How did the cosmos resound
When the sons of God shouted for joy?
What was the noise
When the lifeless void
Gave way to the dawn--
The break of day?
What was that like:
Sound filled with sparks,
When Delight became Light?

I only have questions.
Who are you, who now comes
To me in the ruin of ash,
To the dust of the death in which I sit?
What do you know of loss?
What to you does faithfulness cost?
And will I ever see the point of this?

© Randall Edwards 2021

“Job” by Léon Bonnat (1822-1922), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons. 1880. oil on canvas. Musee d’Orsay

Music: Handel: Messiah by Hermann Scherchen, conductor; London Symphony Orchestra; London Philharmonic Choir; Margaret Ritchie, soprano; Constance Schacklock, contralto; William Herbert, tenor; Richard Standen, bass; Frederick Jackson, chorus master; Thomas Matthews, violin; George Eskdale, trumpet. Publication date 1953. Usage Public Domain Mark 1.0